06 June 2008

Skills yet to Learn

Surprise? No. I've realize there are skills I needed to pick up long ago which I find it to be way beyond my reach. Probably, the gen, I was born to be like this. Not fair. However if there's a will, there's a way. Why couldn't I make my way through it? Why is it so freaking difficult to be one when others can do it with a snap of their fingers?! I AM LOUSY! I SUCKED! I don't usually say this, but this hour, cannot deny the rough waves of emotions. wwwwuuuuu....

5. Thick Face (depends on situation)
Useful for making business or perhaps getting what I desire. I am super damn shy to newly meet people, although people that already knew me strongly convinced I'm friendly but to strangers, don't hope! Example : First day of work, I wouldn't ask other staffs to lunch with me. Worst come to worst, don't eat lunch!!! *see how shy I could be*

4. Rejection.
It can be done both ways; cruel or polite. Unable to do for the first attempt because I'll screwed everything in the end. When I tried being polite, people couldn't get me, perhaps I send the wrong messages. Which line do I fall now?

3. Dare to start, dare to end.
What kind of phrase is this? Argh, even I, myself couldn't understand. How I wished I could be like any other girls down the block, turn their backs and walk away as if nothing recorded in the history. Seeing it as a perfect tool towards happiness. And they sing loudly to you with a heavy shrug, "Babey, life goes on."

2. Instant reply.
I've problem with this especially towards older people eg. uncle and aunties. I can't find myself to answer appropriately yet saying something else that isn't very relevant. WTFish! Yes, I'm that bimbo! All I need is the courage to just answer what I think I should, simple!

1. Love myself.
Of all, dreaming in the cloud9, I need to learn to love myself, no matter what, in any cases, Me. The object. The subject. A way to paint more colours. Red. Blue. Green. Yellow. White. and the list goes on. Perhaps, I don't even recognized my special me, fathom my own life. Ridiculous. Nonetheless, I'm still Clara! :D



This picture, in my camera, don't know from where and whom took charged.
1.00 am and my stomach is crying...yeah FooDDD!!!

.supper time.




2 comments :

jane said...

YES!!!! you need to love yourself first above all. you can do it!

sooclara said...

:D