06 June 2008

Skills yet to Learn

Surprise? No. I've realize there are skills I needed to pick up long ago which I find it to be way beyond my reach. Probably, the gen, I was born to be like this. Not fair. However if there's a will, there's a way. Why couldn't I make my way through it? Why is it so freaking difficult to be one when others can do it with a snap of their fingers?! I AM LOUSY! I SUCKED! I don't usually say this, but this hour, cannot deny the rough waves of emotions. wwwwuuuuu....

5. Thick Face (depends on situation)
Useful for making business or perhaps getting what I desire. I am super damn shy to newly meet people, although people that already knew me strongly convinced I'm friendly but to strangers, don't hope! Example : First day of work, I wouldn't ask other staffs to lunch with me. Worst come to worst, don't eat lunch!!! *see how shy I could be*

4. Rejection.
It can be done both ways; cruel or polite. Unable to do for the first attempt because I'll screwed everything in the end. When I tried being polite, people couldn't get me, perhaps I send the wrong messages. Which line do I fall now?

3. Dare to start, dare to end.
What kind of phrase is this? Argh, even I, myself couldn't understand. How I wished I could be like any other girls down the block, turn their backs and walk away as if nothing recorded in the history. Seeing it as a perfect tool towards happiness. And they sing loudly to you with a heavy shrug, "Babey, life goes on."

2. Instant reply.
I've problem with this especially towards older people eg. uncle and aunties. I can't find myself to answer appropriately yet saying something else that isn't very relevant. WTFish! Yes, I'm that bimbo! All I need is the courage to just answer what I think I should, simple!

1. Love myself.
Of all, dreaming in the cloud9, I need to learn to love myself, no matter what, in any cases, Me. The object. The subject. A way to paint more colours. Red. Blue. Green. Yellow. White. and the list goes on. Perhaps, I don't even recognized my special me, fathom my own life. Ridiculous. Nonetheless, I'm still Clara! :D

This picture, in my camera, don't know from where and whom took charged.
1.00 am and my stomach is crying...yeah FooDDD!!!

.supper time.


jane said...

YES!!!! you need to love yourself first above all. you can do it!

sooclara said...