15 May 2008

The different part of my thinking (updated)

At times like this, the urge to document this down overcame my defaults. The different part of my brain works and thinks in different levels and that's what I'm going through right now.

I have my plans and I know very clear what I wanted at the time being. That and this, this and that. Yeah, I sorted it out long ago to make sure things will be in line for this year, short time but yet productive. I did have alternatives as my back up if my major plan couldn't proceed. It's pretty convincing and fine at the moment of planning.

But now, I'm angry, I'm furious. Where is all these heading too? When the plan doesn't even work for like 50% of the possibilities. Fine, second choice is the next step. And it still not going...try and try the other alternatives. I'm exhausted, I can't even think of it now, the opportunities isn't there to make my plan a success. Is that just me being wishful from the very start?

Why at the time when I'm so vulnerable? Why at times, when my emotions conquering much stronger than my civilization? Why at this time? Why?
See all the questions are WHYs!!

God, if this is what you wanted me to feel and experience, you've done it all, full blast. From my top hair to my tip toe, you've make it far way beyond you think I could take it. I'm at the edge to turn hysterical.

Did I just blame Him? I supposed so. And I'm sure to get mails in my inbox very soon!

.empty handed but alive in your Hands.

Update :

Just as I thought, people nudged me in MSN, the moment my post is up!

Thank you for the encouragement, the prayers, the no-comfort (I'm actually looking forward to hear this part, everytime) ;)

No worries, I'm feeling enlighten and relieve.

I feel good now.


peterrrr said...

my dear girl never commented in your entries before! look at yourself, why feel so down, u got that pretty face to cheer everyone out there laa...even your post makes me take a minute or two from my duty!

Anonymous said...

i agree with peter

avid reader said...

u fail to plan or u plan to fail

i think both of these doesnt apply to ur situation, is the opportunity that matters most.

dont give up!

sooclara said...

peterrrr : really? nice to hear that I did cheer u! =) *so sweet*

anonymous : thanks for being so sure

avid reader : yeah i will not. just watched this video, good one...http://www.usingmac.com/tags/steve%20jobs

flower said...

y so emo? -_- come come,i bring u go minum...chinese tea..muahaha

amei79 said...

things wont go as smooth or exactly as what we expected, otherwise all people will able to predict their future....if so what so nice with our "life"?

people said that all question will have at least one answer...u will find ur answer sooner or later...cheer up.

sooclara said...

flower : kedekutnya chinese tea..haha! boleh bah kalau kau!

amei79 : yeah i knew that too. but if i find my answer later(how long?nobody knows), i don't know where to go actually, that's why i said short time..hmm..